How to Be a World-Class Cocksucker

By Thorn | @INSTIGATORMAG

So, you want to be a World-Class Cocksucker?  Here’s a step-by-step guide to guarantee – once you learn and practice it – that you too can suck the seeds out of a watermelon without breaking the rind.

SLEAZY DOES IT. 

First, get comfortable – I’m talking not just in terms of your physical positioning, but your mental state as well. RELAX. Breathe a little! Just like taking a mack daddy dick up your ass, the key here is breathing. (Once the meat is crammed down your gullet, breathing won’t be an issue, so do it while you can!) On your knees in front or lying next to your target – it doesn’t matter. Point is, once you get settled in and are comfortable, realize that you are about to perform one of the greatest services known to man. And unless your partner is one hell of a controlling top, realize you are in the driver’s seat, so proceed with confidence!

KNOW YOUR MEAT. 

Next, get acquainted with your meal. A good way to do this is by smelling it. Sniff it like a dog. Not a pup, but a DOG. NICE, LONG SNIFFS. Doing this accomplishes two things. The first is it gets your compadre comfortable; allowing him to settle in and enjoy what’s about to come (no pun intended — honest). The second thing nasalizing your man’s meat achieves is it offers you a chance to get into that all-important head-giving headspace by inhaling his aroma and drilling it into your cocksucking head that you’re about to dine on DICK (or Tom or Perry…). It also grants you time to inspect the cut of beef. How is it shaped? Is he cut or uncut? Is it angled to the left? If so, what position will you need to be in to slide it in, all the way down? Does it have any piercings? Smelling your man-meat grants you an awesome opportunity to take the time to make the right decisions when the occasion arises.

TASTE TESTING. 

This is a style-thing and every guy is different. But the one thing 99.99% of us all share is that we LOVE to have our dicks licked. Call it the opening statement. Whether you begin at the head or at the base is up to you and your instinct. What are you hungry for? OK, stupid question. Personally, I tend to start at the base of the dick if/when it is already standing at full-mast (which they usually are by the time we’ve gotten to this point). By working my way up with one firm, steady lap up the piss track, I’m letting the guy know I’m down there and that HE is the only thing in the world at the moment. Doing so, and doing it right, you will be rewarded with that first drop of pre-cum. If this is the case, use your tongue to scoop it up while simultaneously wrapping those juicy wet lips of yours around the head and swallowing (the pre-cum, not the whole dick you greedy homo). If this does the trick for your trick, he’ll moan all the way up. Repeat. This time curve your tongue up the side and let it wrap around covering as much surface area as possible.

If he’s still moaning, it’s a safe bet, he’s into this step, so keep it up a while longer. Make sure to double-back and get the backside, the front side…stretch the tongue out underneath the balls and lick the perineum (a.k.a. his taint – the touchy-feely space located midway between a man’s ball sack, his butthole, and some faggot’s face). Slide up the shaft for a really long lick.  By now the guy should be squirming. (SLUT TIP: Overly juicy mouths right at the beginning leave you nowhere to go. Build up. Don’t worry, you’ll be slobbering soon enough…but we’ll get to that in a moment.)

NOTE: It’s estimated that approximately 1 out of 5 guys in the US are uncircumcised (aka “UNCUT”). Given the fact that you’ll be sucking way more than that, chances are good you’ll find yourself with a mouth full of foreskin at some point in the near future. Keep in mind that the head of an uncut dick is almost always super-sensitive (sometimes too sensitive). That shit happens when your cockhead hasn’t spent a lifetime rubbing up against 10,000 outfit changes. A common mistake that guys make when starting out is pulling the skin taut and launching right into the act. Many uncut guys might find that painful. Instead, try sticking the tip your wet tongue into his flesh tube and licking gently at first to gauge his reaction. Most uncircumcised guys will tell you what they like, so listen up and take the advice.

ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION – HIS PROBLEM or YOURS?

Last time I checked, it’s pretty much YOUR JOB to get the dick hard, cocksucker. If the dude’s soft, something’s wrong. Either you suck at your job or you don’t. Are you relaxed? When you are, he is more likely to be. Remember, his comfortability has EVERYTHING to do with the level of service your providing. Figure it out. Sure, he may be thinking about something other than getting his cock sucked. Hard to believe I know. But we all have things going on in our brains that may not entirely be focused on you. Change that. Lick him with purpose. Show him who the REAL whore-boy is here. Use your mouth, teeth, and tongue to play with his dick with without being ridiculous. And be sure you use those teeth an asset…NOT a weapon.

DIVING IN. 

Now that you got a rise out of him, this is where you demonstrate that you are indeed a greedy faggot. With his dick hard in your mouth, begin to pick up the pace. If he is monstrous in size, try grabbing the base of his dick firmly and if he doesn’t swat your hand away, you bought yourself some time to get accustomed to his massive meat. Remember to utilize three things: lips, tongue, and lungs – glide, lick, and suck. Don’t go in jerky motions all over the place. Keep movements steady and repetitious. LISTEN and FEEL your partner’s reaction. Keep in mind, even if you are getting your needs met, you’re still doing this for HIM. (At the very least, pretend that you are!) Pay attention to what he responds to. Some guys love to have their heads serviced, while other guys like your lips on the shaft. If he’s pierced, you’ll have to pay close attention to how you safely maneuver around the jewelry while playing with it. Whatever the case, enjoy the feast.

DROOLING LIKE A DIRTY DOG SWALLOWING A BONE. 

By this time, you should be salivating like a bitch in heat. That’s a good thing. Bring it on. Nothing worse than a pristine pig. Wanna know where the best joy-jelly lies? At the base of your throat somewhere between the back of your tongue and your anus. Speaking of which, playing with his hole – if he’s into it – might earn you bonus points. But back to you going for the gullet gusto: deep throating takes practice. Being hungry to take it helps, so get into the ‘head-space.’ Realize how badly you really want to connect ‘stash to pubes. The angle his pecker points and the angle of your throat sorta has to match up. This alignment will prevent the head of his dick from just poking you in your sinus cavity.  Once you are in a position to bring it home, push with a little (a little) force, forcing the muscles of your throat to expand and understand that they can open up. You may think that you are blocked from going further, but in most cases, this is simply just a practice thing. Here, more is better. However, not practicing on an 11-incher is advisable if you’re just starting out, but most of you don’t take advice well anyway. Should you succeed in sucking shaft and burying the bone, in most circumstances, your airway will be cut off preventing you from breathing. This is when many dicks like to get involved and take back the wheel by placing their hands on top of your skull thereby keeping you locked in place. Yeah, your eyes will water and you’ll fight for air…the whole time thinking you’ve got this guy deep inside you and you’re loving every joyfully painful moment of it – until you fight your way back out again for air. Your gag reflexes will kick in and when that cock slides out of your mouth, you will find it covered with some of the thickest, slickest 100% all-natural throat slime anywhere! (SLUT TIP: Hack it out into your hand and slide it across your own dick or, better still…across your recently developed rosebud.) The second time you go down will be surprisingly easier if you are working with normal equipment. If you’re a little guy and your throat is seriously too small when coupled with a big cut of beef, don’t force it, otherwise, you can do some damage. But most of you will find that deep throating IS both fun and doable.

SCORE!

Getting a dude to spew is all about repetition. If you’re like most, when you jack off, you do it based on consistent movement or motion. Once again, gauge your partner’s reactions. “Oh, FUCK YES…” is usually a good indication you’re doing it right. Keep it up. If you happen to be a cocky son of a bitch and wanna keep it going, ease the pace and toy with his testicles with your tongue to prolong the tease. Get him worked up like a geyser that’s ready to blow. Go back to what you were doing that got him seriously going in the first place. If he has decent sized, pronounced nipples, chances are good he likes them played with. Grab them between the middle knuckle of your index fingers and the tips of the thumbs and knead them. Tug on them. Keep up the pace by showing him you’re really into being his “fucking lil’ dick-licker” and you are almost guaranteed to get a face-full of cum along with one very happy trick!

CLEAN UP. 

Like I said, every guy is different, so your technique should vary from man to man, based on the situation, scene, individual, and slab of meat. When in doubt, ask your partner if he likes what you are doing to him. Also, be aware that STDs are on the rise and most are easily treatable when discovered early. Learn what you can to make educated decisions on how and when to play and be sure to get checked out on a regular basis. But, by and large, having the skill obtained through practice and sheer willpower can grant you the bragging rights that come from being a Grade-A, World-Class Cocksucking Whore!

THORN is editor-in-chief of Instigator Magazine.

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